@CutPics: "You're sure that's the right word?"
"Like ,80% sure, yeah."
@Matt_The_1st: Me: yes, I'll take the free burger
Cashier: sir, you have to buy one to get one
Me: I only want one though, the free one
@ThisOneSayz: "So I go east? Then west? Then back east?"
~ Me, drunk and getting directions from the inflatable stick figure in front of a car dealership
@Metalligretch: Yelling "wooooo" when the singer says the name of your town is what separates us from the animals.
@Exclusive001: Truthful Tuesday: Sometimes I just say "Hello" back because there are too many witnesses around to stab you repeatedly in the face.
@fro_vo: [on a speed date]
(okay don’t let her know you’re a zombie)
“so, what do you like best in a woman?”