@underchilde: You're the author of your own story, which is probably why it sucks.
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@walks_on_legs: Hm, want to use firecrackers but not wake the neighbors. I know, I'll light the firecrackers inside a container! Like this megaphone here!
@NotBachibawlz: Carried 9 oranges up to the cashier and she says "Ya want a box for them?" "I was willing to pay" I said "but I guess we can fight for em"
@Brianhopecomedy: Ugh, I may have lost my "World's Best Dad" keychain. My 2 year old was playing with it an hour ago but I don't know where she went.