@fillthevacuum: You're the last hot dog on the rollers at 7-11 of people.
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@LeonEarlgrey: baby proofing your house is easy, just lock your doors. There's no way they could get in unless there were like hundreds of them or somthing
@LeiaMarieG: My kid's insults to each other: "you have fat lips like Momma." "well, you have a big butt like Momma. Thanks, kids.
@KalvinMacleod: CASHIER: would you like to donate one dollar to charity? ME: no thank you SATAN (sitting on a throne made of human skulls): excellent choice