@Just_BCS: You're the reason I wake up everyday. Just kidding I have a job.
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@StellaRtwot: I bet you the first person to invent puzzles was a woman that ripped up a picture of her husband.
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: If I called your former boss right now and asked him- Me: *smacks the phone out of his hand* don't do that
@Reverend_Scott: Goldfish 911: What's ur emergency? Goldfish: I forgot Goldfish 911: Forgot what? Goldfish: WHO IS THIS? Goldfish 911: I DON'T KNOW
@Playing_Dad: Daughter: Daddy, why is the moon following us around? Me: I probably owe it money like everyone else on the planet