@STATEofCONFUZUN: You're the Thelma to my Louise. The Ben to my Jerry. The Kanye to my Kanye.
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@XplodingUnicorn: My 3-year-old dumped pudding in her pocket. Novice dad reaction: "You ruined your pants." Veteran dad: "Thank God. I thought it was poop."
@cool_as_heck: OBAMA: your resume says you think of the "best nicknames?" ME: that's right, Obama-nable snowman *finger guns* OBAMA: [softly] holy shit
@LizHackett: I was in the grocery store when Vogue came on, and while nobody could keep up with my choreography, security did let me finish the routine.