@JihadPizza: Youtube is the only place where you'll find people arguing about religion in the comments of a snowboarding video.
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@VaguelyFunnyDan: When I saw "likes music" on her dating profile, I almost fell out of my chair. Because I also like music. Holy shit she likes good food too!
@QwertyJones3: [texting] So what's your name? "ily" omg this is moving too fast. ILY: (yelling) IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN MOM, WHY DID YOU NAME ME THAT?
@d_duhwit: Octopus 1:" Woah. There's an arm just swimming by itself." Octopus 2:" that's an eel you idiot."