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@Thynebear: "You've got a friend in me."
- Cannibals, probably
@maurex23: Top 5 birth control methods
3. jean jackets
5. putting ketchup all over the fries instead of on the side
@Nikkeya08: Me:*looks up from phone*
Okay, it was Mr. Plum in the ballroom with the wrench.
Mom: We stopped playing that game 5 hours ago.
@SteveKoehler22: When I hear the word "aftermath" -
it always makes me hungry.
At school, lunch period followed
Math class, so we ate "aftermath"
@WilliamAder: Do people really expect to have a satisfying experience on a website that ends with ".gov"?
@Book_Krazy: New neighbor: Hi. It's nice to meet you.
Me: It's nice to meet you too. This is my daughter, 9
Neighbor: What's your Twitter @