@HeyZeus666: You've got to be twins. You're too stupid to be one person.
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@rickolantern: My girlfriend wants me to stain the new wooden fence in her backyard. So I'm going to eat spaghetti over it for a few weeks
@JasonLastname: A horror movie where the girl in the woods actually outruns the mutated chainsaw murderer, then it shows him sadly limping back to his car.
@Chelsea_Elle: I take it personally when I let a car cut in front of me and then they immediately get into another lane. Come back you are with me now.
@Demented_Jokes: I always keep a baseball bat under my bed. You know, in case someone breaks in and throws a ball at me.