@phobophile: You've just made a very lazy enemy my friend.
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@WheelTod: [Dark alley at midnight] *Knife-wielding punk approaches Me: “Don't make me do something I might regret...” *Punk sneers & raises knife *I phone up and propose to my married high-school girlfriend
@jctwritesstuff: Me: I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. Him: Ma'am, for the last time, we don't have a limit on how much liquor you can buy.