YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ArfMeasures: [after my murder] COP: Can u think why anyone would want to kill him? WIFE: Christ yes *starts Power Point presentation* Make yourself comfy
@Manda_like_wine: Whenever you're having a bad day, think of the guy who has to put the circus tent back in its bag.
@AntozWolf: Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that are excited for the car ride until we realize where we're going.
@lucidchemistry: [in bed] her: u have done this before, right? me: yes, of course. measure twice, cut once her: what? me: what?