@DontFollowDave: Zelda is the name of the PRINCESS, the guy in green who saves her is named Luigi, idiots.
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@pharmasean: If youre a serial killer & you dont call your murder shack a 'bloodshed,' well I've just about given up on you
@OfficialMizGin: My parties got a hundred times better when I realized if I didn’t invite anybody I could eat all the snacks.
@daemonic3: Rather than vote, let's all fill out the 29 dimensions of what we want in a president and let eHarmony decide.
@ValeeGrrl: Hi, childless people. I just meticulously peeled the skin off a pickle. Cuz the pickle was "bumpy." Enjoy your day. Not de-bumping pickles.