@tastefactory: [zombie apocalypse] *my girlfriend becomes zombie* More like zom-BAE! Haha hang on I have to tweet that. *is eaten right away*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Contwixt: If I was a baseball coach, I'd argue with umpires about subjective reality, stressing we can't be sure the game is actually even happening.
@dave_cactus: [I open my lunchbox to find a copy of the Magna Carta] But that means... [cut to British Library patrons thoughtfully examining a Capri Sun]
@Laser_Cat: *leans out office door* Susan, hold all my calls. I have a very important lunch. *goes to desk and makes animal crackers fight each other*