@karlainvt: Zombies and I have a lot in common; we both walk around aimlessly looking for something to eat.
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@iGreenMonk: Annoucement: At my funeral, all my tweets shall be recited. I will then haunt whomever leaves first, demanding honest feedback for eternity.
@TeaAndCopy: [Going through customs] Anything to declare, sir? 1…2… Sir, what are you– 3…4…I declare a thumb war! Oh bring it on *misses flight*