@JohnHilsen: Crazy but true: Over 80 percent of twins seperated at birth have the same exact birthday.

@JennyJohnsonHi5: Superman and Batman probably had a lot of "capes in the toilet water" accidents when they went to take a dump.

@eyeswidebutt: did you write "call Gary in HR for lots of really disappointing and hairy sex" on the bathroom stall? [wearing my "I hate gary" tshirt]: no

@certifiable_end: My imagination ran away with me, but we're both out of shape and didn't get very far.

@jordan_stratton: Gotta love those girls in department stores wearing lab coats--taking time away from their experiments to help women out with their makeup.