@TwiCarlyGleeber: Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one
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@treywafer: Dear police: if you're going to racial profile, how about you check out the white boy dressed like he's in the matrix
@djdarrellripley: Me: Has anyone ever told you, you have the softest brown eyes? Her: No. Besides, my eyes are blue. Me: No wonder nobody's ever told you...
@Brianhopecomedy: They must have had a really good laugh when doctors realized that thermometers could be taken orally too.