🎶 It’s raining yen. Hallelujah, it’s raining yen

– Winners of the Japanese lottery, probably

You Might Also Like


One day my daughter will walk into the kitchen when I’m sneak-eating cookies and there will be a reckoning


If I refer to myself as, “sauced up,” it probably just means I have honey, BBQ and ranch to dip my nuggets in.


Murderer: What are you in for?

Her: Licking ice cream.

Murderer: That had better be a euphemism.


*gives gf a small gift wrapped box*
“aww what’s this, youre so sweet”
*opens it*
“wait, is this my toothbrush?”


I’ve never gotten off the elevator at a hotel and walked in the right direction.


Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they’re fighting over the world’s last Oreo.


“I don’t see race.” -Russian guy in the back row of a NASCAR event


Watching a cooking show and the host said you can use leftover beer to make battered chicken wings. What the hell is leftover beer?