Never underestimate the power of the web.
You Might Also Like
when horses drive past a field of people they say “people”
*sees girl at bar*
Hey baby, wanna get outta here?
Good, you’re really killing the vibe.
DRUG DEALER: *hands me the stuff*
ME [extremely street smart]: does this come in a generic version?
I’ve saved $7982 in movie theater popcorn by switching to Covid
God: you’re a parrot.
God: you can repeat everything you hear.
Parrot: humans are the worst.
God: uh what?
Parrot: i’ll prolly kill them in a flood soon.
God: what’s it gonna take to keep this quiet?
Parrot: I wanna live in a tropical paradise.
if you’re a 28 year old who has snorted ketamine in an art gallery bathroom, it seems that you are not, in fact, “baby.” a baby wouldn’t do that
I refuse to order in Starbucks lingo. I just order small or medium, and watch everyone hyperventilate.
I’ve been told I look like a young Denzel Washington’s white neighbor.
the racists in this town are so proud of their lack of pigmentation you’d think they had actually chose it themselves 🙂