@ItsDumbTweets: 😂 wtf
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@girlontapas: The 3 second rule: the time between when you tell me your name and when I introduce myself and wonder what you said your name was.
@LizHackett: ME: My dog loves it when I work from home. DOG [to camera, opening beer]: Between you and me, it's incredibly inconvenient. I had shit planned today.
@PhilJamesson: me (tenting fingers): how can we make this deal work cashier: you give me $7.48 me (sliding him a $20 bill): how about now? cashier: $7.48 out of $20, $12.52 is your change. have a nice day me (smirking): everybody wins