me: how much to see the great white sharks?
vendor: tickets are $25 each
me: alright *looks up from wallet* how much for the just ok white sharks?
1. Africa’s the 2nd most populous continent on earth.So when U meet an African abroad,dont ask us if we know sme other African U met before
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If I set a cheese trap, I’d probably fall for it before the mouse.
No thanks private caller, I don’t even answer the phone when I know who it is
Husband: What’s up with the notepad taped to your arm?
Me: It’s so I don’t forget to write down my tweet material.
H: I think it’s time to take a break…
Me: Ok, I’ll miss you but I support your decision.
H: …from twitter
*novela book bar*
bartender: let me guess books not booze
him: tequila …
bartender: ’bout time here you go
him: … mockingbird
bartender: there it is
Me: But I was singing Britney Spears
Karaoke bar bouncer: You were screaming “my loneliness is killing me”
Me: That’s a lyric
Bouncer: You were in the bathroom
There’s a lady on my NextDoor app who likes to jump into long threads and write “can we please stop talking about this” with increasing frustration while everyone ignores her and I love her so much
Given that our animals have pockets I think we can agree that Australia is more evolved than the rest of the world.
I hate it when I forget to cut the tags off my sandwich and everyone’s like “New sandwich?”