Anyone who says time flies, has obviously never been on a treadmill.
1) Find and catch a rabbit
2) Go to restaurant
3) Complain about a hare in your meal
4) Enjoy free meal plus adorable household pet
You Might Also Like
My son’s method of Laundry: If it’s clean it’s on the floor. If it’s dirty then it goes on the floor over there.
An app that reminds you, no matter how ugly you are.. someone far far away wants to bang you.
-Twitters new slogan
My favorite thing about all the people waiting in line for the new iPhones is for those hours the rest of the world is a better place.
I wasted my childhood trying to save your girlfriend 🙂
Therapist: Have you ever had a job?
Me: I once worked at a zoo
Therapist: Great! And what did you take from that?
Me: Definitely not a penguin
A teacher is always just one loud fart away from losing control of a classroom.
Sorry I interrupted your wedding dance with a much much better dance
I don’t consider myself a controlling person.
Side note: Anyone else have a list of people your spouse can’t marry if you die?
Have you tried complaining about it for hours?