@NoogsCorner

1) Put index and thumb together.
2) Place them where nose meets forehead.
3) Close eyes.
4) Sigh.
5) Check to see if person still talking.

You Might Also Like

@Lhlodder

6-year-old: I’m laughing cause your laugh makes me laugh. Your joke’s not funny though.

That stung.

@CornOnTheGoblin

sisqo: [filing a missing persons’ report] she had dumps like a truck
cop: i keep telling you, i don’t know what that means

@chuuew

ME: hi handsome, is this seat taken?

BUS DRIVER: yes, but you could literally sit anywhere else

@The_Grant_Boldt

God: okay I need to create something to fill the dark empty void in the meaningless lives of unmotivated people

[creates Twitter]

@jdforshort

Laying in bed, watching the ceiling fan spin, my thoughts wonder to

1. Who turned the ceiling fan on
2. Why don’t I have telekinetic powers

@Xalqee

My wife once told me ” Mike you’re the only man who ever gave me multiple orgasms”, which pissed me off because my names not Mike

@dave_cactus

[ugly sweater contest]

*starts sweating*

*takes home the gold*

@SugarMagicSpice

This isolation thing isn’t going to be so hard. I spent half my teenage years getting grounded so there’s that.

@RdrJay47

[Dramatically turning from the jukebox and flipping my collar]

“May I have this dance?”

[Who Let The Dogs Out starts blaring]