Me: oh Finding Dory is on, what a fun mov-
Neil deGrasse Tyson: You’ll note the fish switch between fresh & salt water without repercussion
“10 Things I Hate About You” is my favorite movie that sounds like a bitter Buzzfeed article
You Might Also Like
Me: what’s your job
Them: I’m a bank teller
Me: *nervously* what do you tell it
HER: So what do you-
ME: How fast can you order a pizza?
HER: I don’t-
ME: *hits buzzer* NEXT
My boss told me I look tired, so now I call her mom.
[making the first boat]
“How do we get across this river?”
ME: we gotta build a boat
“What’s a boat?”
ME: that’s what we gotta figure out
There’s something I should tell you…
“Oh god what is it”
I have crabs
*holds up two crabs*
“Oh I thought you meant-”
If a girl has magnetic personality and still She can’t attract the desired boy.
Then that means the boy has iron deficiency.
me: let’s just say I’ve kissed a lot of frogs
her: to meet your princess?
me: er yeah, whatever you say…
What’s with the attitude? I don’t know what’s gotten into you but I know what hasn’t.
This hot fudge sundae hasn’t killed me so it must be making me stronger.