@Manda_like_wine

1000s flocked to NJ to see the Virgin Mary in a tree trunk. But, don’t judge them, friends. When was the last time you saw a virgin in NJ?

1000s flocked to NJ to see the Virgin Mary in a tree trunk. But, don’t judge them, friends. When was the last time you saw a virgin in NJ?

- @Manda_like_wine

You Might Also Like

@Darlainky

*puts PLEASE SPEAK AS LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE WHEN ORDERING sign on drive-thru*

*watches people scream into the box*

That’ll teach them to get my order wrong.

@Lisabug74

My father will accept 10 ripe avocados in exchange for my hand in marriage.

@markleggett

1- Buy a big padlock.
2- Throw the key into the ocean.
3- Find a stranger with stretched-out earlobes.
4- Attach padlock to earlobe.
5- Run.

@bornmiserable

if you have a dog and don’t greet it by singing “hello barkness, my old friend” then what’s the point

@QwertyJones3

[nail salon]

Excuse me, do you do filing here?

“Yes of course we do!”

Great! I need a good refund
*hands over tax forms*

@huntigula

why pay kristen stewart millions of dollars when a cardboard cutout of kristen stewart will give the exact same performance for free

@JustDontBugMe

[The dream]
Ahhhh, camping. The great outdoors, just nature for company…

[Reality]
*Playing Call of Duty all weekend with just take out pizza and soda pop for company*

@ShootyDoody

Interviewer: So, what makes you think you’re a good candidate for this Automotive Shop?

Me: I tire easily.

@stevevsninjas

jingle bell.
jingle bell.
jingle bell.
rock.

– looking for shells on the north pole beach

@hipstermermaid

I’m going to go to the gym and then to eat a Doritos Loco Taco, because I like to keep my body guessing whether or not I hate it.