BBC:when a women is attracted to a man, she speaks in a higher pitch than normal
That explains why every woman I talk to sounds like Batman
10yo: When in doubt, albatrout.
Me: What the hell is albatrout? That’s not real.
10yo: Now you’re in doubt!
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Rambo: First Blood (1982)- After the onset of his first period, Rambo struggles with the emotional roller coaster of becoming a woman.
If you find a stylist who can cut hair without talking, never let them go
My mate called me an idiot for always getting my idioms wrong but it takes one to know someone.
The year is 2054. My son sits down for his documentary.
Reporter: So what would you say led to your impressive and horrifying killing spree?
Him: Well I think it all began when I was six and my mom threw out my collection of kazoos I’d made from toilet paper rolls
I’m giving you my two weeks’ notice.
Police: THIS IS THE POLICE, OPEN THE DOOR NOW
Me: Not with that attitude
He: is this love or what? She: What.
Shark Week is just another made up holiday to sell more sharks
What is the deal with beverages being called Dry, you are literally lying