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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


her: so we could have sex

me: 🙁

her: or we could do the complex fight choreography you came up with

me: 🙂

her: [sigh] i’ll get the katanas


Tech guy says: “When in doubt reboot. ” Okay, I’ve rebooted but i still don’t see how my boots have ANYTHING to do with a computer.


Between hating pork and launching themselves into enemy structures, Al Qaeda were the original Angry Birds.


that earthquake in LA was actually a huge crowd of white girls rushing into a wal-mart to buy a green t-shirt last minute


why did marilyn monroe sing happy birthday like that. she should have sang it normal


You blow one bubble and suddenly all the other bubbles are talking about you.


“If you gaze long into a bisque, the bisque also gazes into you.” – Philosophical soup kitchen chef