If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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her: so we could have sex
her: or we could do the complex fight choreography you came up with
her: [sigh] i’ll get the katanas
If there was a problem, yo, I caused it.
Tech guy says: “When in doubt reboot. ” Okay, I’ve rebooted but i still don’t see how my boots have ANYTHING to do with a computer.
SHOUTOUT TO LIBRARIANS! (*sorry*)
Between hating pork and launching themselves into enemy structures, Al Qaeda were the original Angry Birds.
that earthquake in LA was actually a huge crowd of white girls rushing into a wal-mart to buy a green t-shirt last minute
why did marilyn monroe sing happy birthday like that. she should have sang it normal
You blow one bubble and suddenly all the other bubbles are talking about you.
“If you gaze long into a bisque, the bisque also gazes into you.” – Philosophical soup kitchen chef