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@causticbob

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

@Skoog

her: so we could have sex

me: 🙁

her: or we could do the complex fight choreography you came up with

me: 🙂

her: [sigh] i’ll get the katanas

@mbnels

Tech guy says: “When in doubt reboot. ” Okay, I’ve rebooted but i still don’t see how my boots have ANYTHING to do with a computer.

@trevso_electric

Between hating pork and launching themselves into enemy structures, Al Qaeda were the original Angry Birds.

@dubstep4dads

that earthquake in LA was actually a huge crowd of white girls rushing into a wal-mart to buy a green t-shirt last minute

@sweatyhairy

why did marilyn monroe sing happy birthday like that. she should have sang it normal

@darksidedeb

You blow one bubble and suddenly all the other bubbles are talking about you.

@Tmoney68

“If you gaze long into a bisque, the bisque also gazes into you.” – Philosophical soup kitchen chef