@stevevsninjas: 12 Signs You Might Have Leprosy - Number 8 is jaw-dropping!
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@sofarrsogud: *maintains eye contact while checking 'Dating Librarians For Dummies' out from the library.
@AmericanGent69: Trader Joe’s was destined for greatness... Unlike his twin brother Sloppy Joe who was destined to work in a cafeteria for minimum wage.
@djdarrellripley: Her: Does that dog actually play chess? Me: He's not so smart. I beat him 2 games out of 3. *Dog Barks Me: Alright, 1 game out of 3.
@jake_lach: My dealer texts to ask if I'm straight and I'm not even sure how that's relevant to our arrangement