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@_Water_Baby: *at casino* When he hands you $100 and asks you to go get chips, do not ask him Doritos or Lays. Get both. It will leave him speechless.
@GlumGeorgeLucas: My interior decorator quit on her first day on the job. I told her to paint all the walls in my house to be green screens.
@batkaren: [1st date] "I'm really into roll playing," I tell her with a wink, and make two pieces of complimentary bread pretend to kiss.