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@fmanjoo

In general my philosophy is do whatever you want if it doesn’t hurt people and it’s not two spaces after a period.

@causticbob

my girlfriend was cold so i bought her a fur coat. #Snowmageddon2015

@AbleLikes

party at my place – b.y.o.b. (bring your own biocontainment)

@shessoken

🤣😭 I done ate 22 times and took 13 naps and it’s still today

@AbbieEvansXO

Me: my imposter syndrome is pretty bad. I feel like I don’t deserve to be here, I’m not good enough

Satan: what

@shutupmikeginn

If you get engaged and you and your partner both owns dogs do the dogs become brother and sister or are they married too?

@TheGladStork

I wish horses knew that every person who drives by them says, “Oh look. Horses.”

@Tups13

When I receive an invoice that says ‘early settlement would be appreciated’ I build them a Neolithic village.