YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@praisecheese: "Archeology is just like search and rescue only everyone's been dead for 5,000 years, so there's no rush"
@AndyAsAdjective: KIDS: [from the kitchen] dad…may we have ice cream? ME: no you may not [long pause] K: dad…may we be forgiven if we already had ice cream?
@adriennekhals: Worst day. Had a tampon behind my ear all afternoon and still cant find my cigarette.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Time for bed! *puts phone down* Oops, forgot to set my alarm! *picks phone back up and surfs the web for 7.5 hrs*