You Might Also Like

@RecursiveTaco

Me: *seeing a used condom on my lawn* This is disgusting!

Neighbor: OMG STOP TASTING IT

@iamspacegirl

Ghost me would do the same stuff as alive me.
Howl. Wander. Stand in front of the fridge and stare at all the food I’m not allowed to eat.

@jakob_huber

A bottle washes on shore with a note inside it: “Go swimming, the water’s great! And there’s no sharks! P.S. this wasn’t written by a shark”

@G_Faylor

i’m old enough to remember when yogurt was hellogurt

@CotysGotThis

Me: YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!!

Chocolate Cake: …..

Me: Ugh.. Fine, you win.

@OVLH

“He’s more scared of you than you are of him” – Girl coaching her friend into talking to me

@themiltron

[the invention of knocking]

i’m gonna punch your house until you talk to me