REASONS I’M NOT IN A BAND:
4. I don’t play any instruments
3. Band practice could affect my karate career
2. My karate rivals might hide inside our tour bus and sneak attack me as I relax
1. High risk of groupies falling in love with me and distracting me from my karate training
1816: a grizzly bear ate my mom as she fetched drinking water.
1916: I’m in a muddy trench, bleeding internally.
2016: IM OFFENDED!
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No, my mistake, she’s got dementia.
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Two more rolls of duct tape and I should have this tv mounted.
I guess if macaroni had to be named after a body part, elbow was better than some other options.
M: I rear-ended some girl today
W: Oh how much damage to her car