Kids are hard to predict; and living in 2021 with two young kids who sing along to “Who Let the Dogs Out” was not what I expected.
Him: we should name this time period
Me: the good depression
Him: ok i like depression but the descriptor has to be something more than just “good”
Me [after consulting my good friend tony the tiger]: hear me out
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My 7YO was coloring in her room on her desk, now I’m wiping off the paint from every part of the house
7: Dad, why did the Tooth Fairy write me a check?
Me: I don’t know but she needs you to hold on to it until the 15th.
doctor: what seems to be the problem
me: it seems like u should be telling me
In a car crash a dog would rescue you.
However a cat would pour liquor over your face and testify against you in court.
[boarding plane with really old pilot]
“think his heart will hold out? lol”
attendent: excuse me, sir?
“depart out, what time do we leave?”
My ex didn’t realize ‘cheat day’ only meant he could eat whatever FOOD he wanted.
Did you just call me a boombox? Eugh that’s such a stereotype
Meltdowns are what happens when you compartmentalize your thoughts, but forget to label them.