Me, in my teens: This radio station is playing my jams.
Me, in my 20s: This bar is playing my jams.
Me, in my 30s: This grocery store is playing my jams.
Me: 2020 is gonna be wild. Flying cars, robots everywhere, a technologically advanced utopia.
Me: Ayyy my toaster can play the Goo Goo Dolls.
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I want to be important enough to receive a phone call, say one word, hang up and having the end result being something blown up.
Remember before Ebola, when we just had bola? Technology changes everything.
just had a dinosaur that we didn’t make show up at our front gate
I can tell you from experience that the “fake it till you make it” saying is true for most things in life, just not flying a helicopter.
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn’t walk to the donut shop.
Fact: People do their most creative problem solving when they’re drunk.
(I didn’t say best, I said creative)
Played twister with my kids and now hold the world record for saying, “That’s not your left foot” a billion times.
My neighbors, leaf blowing Larry and tile cutting Tim, are in the midst of a noise war, so I blasted “Let it Go” and won.
I’ve never been afraid to admit when other people are wrong