@jjhartinger

1995: [goes to store, video is rented] Maybe next time

2017: [netflix takes 5 mins to load] This is a nightmare

You Might Also Like

@moneebthinks

My Nissan uncomfortably seats 7 if any group of people wants to take an intimate road trip

@weinerdog4life

Did you know you can just buy live lobsters? Anyway can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters

@EndhooS

Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like ‘Stabbyrabbit’ or ‘Weaponrat’

@just1fool

After years of failure, the “scientist” that had been trying to create a fake urine nearly went mad after he drank his first Miller Lite.

@caperbc75

My grandfather is so racist he only eats white chocolate at Easter.

@eddie_ferrero

[FIRST DAY AS A NUDE MODEL]

INSTRUCTOR: Sir, we need you to take off your socks.

ME: (chuckles) Oh, sorry.

INSTRUCTOR: (clears throat) All three of them.

@DanMentos

“Hi I’m Dave and I’m an alcoholic”
*uncomfortable murmur*
“I’ll be your captain today. Our flight time into Phoenix will be 3 hours and

@dorkwing_duck

The scene where Indiana Jones swaps the bags and runs from a boulder but it’s me trying to eat a cookie without my kid seeing me

@devansgorock

Pro Tip: don’t believe everything on Twitter. Y’all said throw her up against the wall to keep her happy. Karen from accounting. Not Happy.