@Pabloayodeji
Nobody is normal on twitter Nigeria 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@wittwitbarista
*2 days before payday*
Me: CLEAR!
Teller: I’m telling you that this is unnecessary
Me: *places defibrillator onto check* I SAID “CLEAR”!
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@Pabloayodeji
@DrakeGatsby
Me: Aww, a bear!
Bear: You’re being audited by the IRS.
Me: Oh no, a bad news bear.
@Hormonella
I fart in church so I can sit in my own pew.
@milespoo
i have never felt this meme more than after listening to Threedom… good job brahs.
@OtherDanOBrien
“Dark Side Tech Support.”
“Hi. My hand lightning won’t work. The hate’s flowing thru me, but nada.”
“Try turning the hate off & on again.”
@TheAlexNevil
When people don’t say thank you for my holding a door open for them, it’s not a big deal. I simply run ahead to the next door they’re about to go through and tightly hold it shut.
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@Brianhopecomedy
5 year old: “That’s a big truck!”
“It’s a moving truck.”
“ALL TRUCKS MOVE.”
Why am I the one that feels like an idiot?
@SufficientCharm
Bravo, Oscar, Oscar, Bravo, Sierra
@E_lok44
Don’t tell your friend you like her sweater unless you mean it; she might knit you one.