Nobody is normal on twitter Nigeria 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
*2 days before payday*
Teller: I’m telling you that this is unnecessary
Me: *places defibrillator onto check* I SAID “CLEAR”!
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Me: Aww, a bear!
Bear: You’re being audited by the IRS.
Me: Oh no, a bad news bear.
I fart in church so I can sit in my own pew.
i have never felt this meme more than after listening to Threedom… good job brahs.
“Dark Side Tech Support.”
“Hi. My hand lightning won’t work. The hate’s flowing thru me, but nada.”
“Try turning the hate off & on again.”
When people don’t say thank you for my holding a door open for them, it’s not a big deal. I simply run ahead to the next door they’re about to go through and tightly hold it shut.
5 year old: “That’s a big truck!”
“It’s a moving truck.”
“ALL TRUCKS MOVE.”
Why am I the one that feels like an idiot?
Bravo, Oscar, Oscar, Bravo, Sierra
Don’t tell your friend you like her sweater unless you mean it; she might knit you one.