Let me get this straight. The guy was raised by animals in the jungle with no human contact whatsoever and he named himself George?
2011: The world’s gonna end next year…like probably….bc of something w the Mayans
People: *freaking out*
2019: There is SCIENTIFIC PROOF that Global Warming is rapidly destroying life as we know it, and we need change, fast.
People: lol ok
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If we just refer to ISIS as “Nickelback” maybe nobody will want to join them
Million Dollar Idea ~ A bathroom mirror that takes pictures.
The extra hour from Daylight Saving Time gave me the opportunity to get so much more housework done!
I didn’t do any of it.
But I certainly had the opportunity.
I was completely offended, but then you said “no offense,” so now everything’s cool.
There’s 2 types of idiots in the world.
2. All the other idiots
My mom sometimes texts me pictures of Buddha with an inspirational text like:
“Be kind to others, Evil Lisa”
Go ahead and assume it’s a banana;
I’m rarely that happy to see anyone.
Me: I want a labrador but all the pet shops are too expensive
Her: Have you tried dog pounds?
Me: Yeah, but apparently it’s ‘not a real currency’
Twilight and Hostess are over. It’s a sad day for fat girls.