@lovemydogduck: 24 astronauts were born in Ohio. What is about your state that makes people want to flee the Earth?
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@QwertyJones3: [Trying to impress a cute girl with glasses] HER: So what kind of car do you drive? ME: A bookmobile.
@Mom_Overboard: Mechanic: Your car needs new brakes to pass inspection. Me: Are you sure about that? *slides him a half used $10 Starbucks gift card*
@jewfacekilla: Him: Would you like to have lunch sometime? Me: I like to have lunch every afternoon.