@xerxesbigboy

25 Relationship Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore:

1. Inexplicably, his house is full of flags.

2. This is serious, why so many?

3. You need to get that first one sorted
out before we move on.

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@hpb777

A fun way to find bleach in your coffee is to tell me I’m turning into my mother.

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Guess who went all day without dropping food on her shirt?

Not me, but I’m sure somebody somewhere did.

@lejessica

I’m so out of shape, I can’t even run away from my insecurities.

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Him: I love nerd girls

Me: Cool! Did you know the human body can’t feel water, only a change in temperature?

Him: no. not like that.

@joeldanger

Sending an insult with a typo is like laughing at someone for tripping and falling and then tripping and falling right front of them.

@dogheadcoffee

You got acute appendicitis ..

No, YOU got a cute appendicitis *winks at doctor*