Secure web server:
> Email/password please.
Insecure web server:
> I just don’t know if I’m good enough…am I?
2nd month dating: A thousand lifetimes with you would not be enough.
2nd month of marriage: OMG you are the loudest cereal chewer on earth!
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I feel creepy every time I ‘follow’ someone. Where are they going to take me? I hope its somewhere good
Dog shampoo was on sale & cheaper than my normal shampoo so it looks like I’m going to have a shiny, healthy coat for the next few weeks.
*knocks on woman’s washroom*
Hello anyone in here?
*no one answers*
*runs in & lifts up every toilet seat*
*runs away giggling*
I almost walked out of the dentist’s office without putting my pants back on.
I doubt that my secrets are safe in your hands given that the raccoon was able to steal a corndog from you the other day.
I hate when someone is killed in a movie. While normal ppl watch the scene, all i’m doing is try to catch the dead character breathing.
When my hairdresser asked me if I intentionally styled my hair like that, I panicked.
I told her someone jumped me in the parking and styled it. I’m a quick thinker you know.
The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.
You’ve cat to be kitten me right meow.