@slimmy_shady: 3 am phone call, "Hey, are you asleep?" Nope, Im skydiving.
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@bourgeoisalien: When I die, I'm donating my body to the theater department. The science department has enough bodies. I want to be a theater prop.
@abbycohenwl: My retirement plan is to buy several red polo shirts & anytime I need anything, go steal it from Target
@terio1429: Library charged my Visa $15.60 for my son's lost Dr. Seuss book. Teri got mad oh yes she did, Teri got angry and grounded her kid.