3: I’m going to say hi to that boy on the bike
Boy rides by & she waves shyly after he passes
3: He didn’t hear me
Me: Flirting’s hard

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How much rent do I pay once it’s divided equally? That is the per tenant question.


[Grandma’s funeral]

(Turning to friend) She knitted that whole coffin


Pro tip: if you show up nude to the Zoom meeting, you don’t have to do anymore zoom meetings.


Forgot to do laundry again. I bet everyone at work is going to love my prom dress.


scarlet joe hanson sounds like an old timey boxer’s name. “weighin’ in at 182 lbs, 5’9″, the ol’ black widow, scarlet jooooooe hansen!”


My 8 year old daughter hasn’t stopped talking in 32 years