@lisaxy424: 30 seconds staring confused at the calculator app before realizing why my phone wasn't calling the number I dialed.
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@KPsych29: My eyes physically can't roll any higher up into my skull to show you how annoying you are.
@liv_thatsme: I'd tell my neighbor about the weird smell coming from her apartment, but she's been so quiet that I don't want to disturb her.
@TeaAndCopy: Me: Excuse me, where's the rowing boat equipment? Employee: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle. Me: … Employee: … Me: Or you'll what?