I had no internet or cable last night and I was left with my thoughts.
I guess that’s why the pioneers usually died so young.
33, Male, Jerusalem. You?
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I walk around in public saying “wait for me guys” so everyone thinks I have friends.
My father still likes to tell the story about the argument he won with my mother in 1971.
her: i like a guy who takes his time
me (seductively): i wore diapers until 5th grade
I’ve had to walk past this monstrosity every day for the last few weeks and it’s really taking a toll.
I’m quitting my job to pursue my dream of quitting my job.
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
If you play a NIickelback song backwards you’ll hear messages from the illuminant.Even worse, if you play it forward you’ll hear NIickelback
Welcome to Starbucks how may I help you?
“Regular coffee with cream please”
That’s $40, 5ml of unicorn tears, and 10 dragon scales.
Goes into the office…
Office: Get out!