Dentist 1: Yes
Dentist 2: Yes
Dentist 3: Yes
Dentist 4: Yes
Dentist 5: Not so fast…
4 year olds really apologize like “I’m sorry I accidentally did that on purpose.”
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If bras are called over the shoulder boulder holders then panties should be named under the hip lip grippers.
I watched Neil deGrasse Tyson talk about Milky Ways for an hour and I still have no idea what nougat is.
A dog needs to be the next president.
“A dog can’t-”
When has a dog ever raised taxes or started a war?
“I’ll start the paperwork.”
My local cinema was broken into last night and goods worth £15,000 stolen: a packet of popcorn and a medium Coke.
What should we call it when a man is beautiful?
No but I feel like you’re on the right track
date: i want a good listener
date: who can see inner beauty
date: and looks good in glasses
clark kent: 🙂
date: wait what the hell
[Half of my body is already in the anaconda]
“Is this a date? This feels like a date.”
My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear.
70% of the Earth’s surface is oceans. The rest is split between car dealerships and a Costco parking lots.