Her: could things get any worse?
Me: *adds raisins* there you go.
~ gas pumps
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Everyone is freaking out because I brought my own gavel to court, no one knows if I’m allowed to do this, the judge is crying
Water: can you do me a solid?
God: sure *turns it into ice*
INTERVIEWER: What’s your greatest strength?
ME: Getting out of corn mazes.
INTERVIEWER: Uhm…ok. And your greatest weakness?
ME: I keep finding myself unexpectedly in corn mazes.
INTERVIEWER: *realizes he’s in a corn maze* What the hell?
ME: Guess this is my time to shine.
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If Jesus was a Jedi he would be Luke Waterwalker
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