Hey mate! Your girl looks like a horse…
Are you in a stable relationship?
5: Daddy, where do fish come from?
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CASHIER: is there anything else I can help you with?
ME: *pulls out my trigonometry homework from 1995* yes, yes there is
Owner: I want to charge 6.99 for a cookie
Devil: I’ve got an idea
I thought it would be good for the environment if I had less grass to waste water on so I put a pool in.
A treadmill is just an expensive version of the ground
I just typed “relationship” and it came up “delusional” on my phone. First time I realized my phone really is smart.
I have just completed knitting a tiny sweater for my one true friend, who is a grape.
Stop putting cauliflower where there once was something delicious.
Always wear clean underwear, In case you are abducted by aliens
i’m lonely just not “inventor of the boomerang” lonely