GRANDPARENTS: This used to be orange groves.
US: That used to be a Blockbuster.
KIDS IN THE FUTURE: All that used to not be underwater and also somehow on fire.
5: “I went to Banana Land. The bananas danced & had flowers & tiny pandas on their heads.”
Me: “I’ll have whatever that kid’s having.”
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This dude was just posed here when we drove by lmao
You had a panic attack on the elevator, so no, you can’t go with me to buy drugs
BRIAN MAY: It was an accident. Let’s dump the body and split, we’ll meet up again this time tomorrow. Remember, no one can know about this. Can’t tell your friends, can’t tell your wives. You can’t even tell your own mamas. Understood?
FREDDIE MERCURY: (already humming) got it
I love how people say they’re “expecting” a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin or a lawnmower.
ROSE: I’ll never let go Jack
JACK: You have room
ROSE: I’ll never let go
JACK: You’re in a sailboat
ROSE: Goodbye Jack
JACK: You have a cooler of beer on deck
JACK: The boat has a living room
ROSE: Dude can’t you just take a hint
Some days I want to leave everything and just run away with him. Other days I want to own 3 baby dragons and be fireproof and naked.
I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.
In Seattle, there’s a code that states when two people are walking towards each other, the one with the bigger coffee cup passes first.
Kanye goes to law school just so he can yell THE DEFENSE WESTS YOUR HONOR and moonwalk out of the courtroom. The defendant is executed.