I asked my gf not to wear any panties in hopes of spicing things up, but she ignored me and just kept rolling around, being a watermelon.
50 Cent has filed for bankruptcy, he will now be known as 50. Story is he doesn’t have a cent to his name.
*drops the mic walks away*
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I’ve always loved Batman cause I also blame my entire personality on my parents.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SURGICALLY CHANGE YOUR SON’S BONES TO STEEL LIKE WOLVERINE. THERE WILL BE A LOT OF QUESTIONS.
6yo has two pregnant Barbies and one Ken doll. You could cut the tension in the Barbie camper with a tiny stiletto.
Getting my hair done Monday.
Good news for the kids who scream “WITCH” as they pass by my house, bad news for the birds that live in it.
A woman at my gym has a jellyfish tattoo on her arm.
So I peed on her
Just act like he’s not here.
I needed a laugh this morning.
There is no rest from this pa rum pum pum pum
Went to a bar. Ordered a drink. Waiter served it without ice. So I called him again & asked for it.
I kept sipping my drink while waiting for ice. By the time the waiter came with ice, I had finished my drink.
Moral of the story:
Just ice delayed is just ice denied.