@DurtMcHurtt: 50% of mariachi bands end in divorciachi.
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@Underchilde: Stop, drop and roll if your clothes are on fire or if you spot your ex under the mistletoe.
@SeinfeldToday: George refuses to date a woman when he sees her on 2 different dating apps. G:”It’s too desperate.” J:”How’d you find out?” G:”I’m on both."
@HavocMantis: Whenever I experience happiness, I signal this to other humans by showing the sharpest part of my skeleton.