Attention Walmart Shoppers.
Worst case scenario on aisle 5.
5’s friend told him his mom makes play doh. Thanks Pinterest. I’m already expected to cook 3 meals a day, now I have to cook their toys too?
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I don’t like revenge. Just one venge is enough.
*tears off Dec 2016 calendar page*
[JANUARY 2016, Part 2]
[YOU DIDN’T THINK]
[2016 WOULD END, DID YOU?!]
I have a confession…
I don’t like Oreos.
And it feels so great getting that off my chest!
*blocked by all of Twitter*
Hundreds of creepy clowns terrorizing people across multiple states. On the bright side, they can all be picked up in one police car.
If I see someone stumble, catch themselves, & madly start looking about to see if anyone saw, I always make sure I make direct eye contact.
Her: I like a guy who’s mechanically inclined
Me: *tilts my chair back all the way*
Her: no, I mean good with cars
Me: *hits play on the movie Cars*
Shouldn’t the sea be called an isntland?
Sir, I don’t know how you keep getting in here, but again, this is not what a think tank does
Dog: I don’t get it
Me: What don’t you get?
Dog: Just go over it again
Me: This is MY food and that is YOUR food
Dog: *tilts head* What?